So I’ve been watching this show all evening on Netflix called “Who the #@!* did I marry?!”. I’m at the end of the episode about the Green River Killer and while there’s some definite cons (like, you know, he’s a murderer) about marrying a serial killer, there’s also some pros. Such as:
1. You’re the only one safe from getting murdered: I mean, come on, like he is going to murder you and draw all that attention to himself.
2. Presents: Serial killers are constantly buying their spouses roses, jewelry and one woman even got a Porsche. Obviously I get that the gifts are basically to guarantee that when the police show up at your door that you will just stop asking questions for FIVE minutes and proclaim their innocence. Well, until their letters from prison get to be just too much. HOWEVER, as someone who happens to LOVE presents I still consider it a pro.
3. Oh, you’ve always wanted hardwood floors? No problem! He will be pulling the carpet up and burning it while you’re at work.
4. Your house will ALWAYS be clean: Spotless in fact. No finger prints on YOUR windows!
It wouldn’t be very fair if I didn’t mention some of the cons. For instance:
1. Fingers: One day you’re gonna find lots of them. Probably in your toilet tank.