Once when I worked…

So I was clothes shopping today and it reminded me of the days (like a month ago) when I worked in a shoe store.  I had worked in that shoe store for almost 3 years and had my share of stupid customers.  I was so harsh behind customers’ backs that I now have an irrational fear of salespeople when I’m shopping. I walked into a store today and when I realized they worked on commission and two people were headed straight toward me, I awkwardly backed out of the store mumbling, “Thanks so much!”  as if I had just stolen ten pairs of pants.  Anyway, these are some of my favorite phone calls I got into the store.  Clearly judging by my previous post, I have ZERO right whatsoever to judge these people, but that’s really not stopping me.:

ringring

Mary:  “Hi, this is Mary, how can I help you?”

Lady:  “Is this a shoe store?”

Mary:  “Yes ma’am.”

Lady:  “Great.  Okay so I’m looking for a brown shoe.”

Mary:  “Okay, I need a little more description than that.  Do you happen to have the name of it?”

Lady:  “No, but it’s brown and leather.  Can you put that on hold for me?  I’ll come into the store and get it later this week. Size 7.”

Mary:  “Well, we have a lot of shoes that fit that description.  Can you give me any more details?”

Lady:  “Absolutely.  It has a heel.  And it’s got some fabric on this little part of it.”

Mary:  “Where exactly are you looking at this shoe?  Is there any way you could get the name of it?”

Lady:  “No, I don’t know the name of it.”

Mary:  “Okay, I am really sorry to be unhelpful, but you’re just going to have to come into the store.  I’m not really sure what shoe you’re looking for and I don’t want to put the wrong shoe on hold for you.”

Lady:  “Well, what if I gave you the little number that goes with it that starts with a J?  Could you look up the shoe with that?”

Mary:  “Of course, but where are you getting the J number?”

Lady:  “Oh, I’m on the website looking at it.  I just didn’t want to order online.”

Mary:  “Sigh.  Look to the left of the J number.  The name is right there.”

Lady:  “I’ll just come into the store.”

Obviously I’m being punished for being so annoying when I’m in Best Buy, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling disgruntled.

ringring

Mary:  “Hello, this is Mary.  How can I help you?”

Woman:  “Well first of all I’m 300 pounds.”

Mary:  “Ah.  Okay…”

Woman:  “Anyway, I used to be thin. I was 180 pounds and I was about 5’3″.  It was all muscle.”

Mary:  “Oh…”

Woman:  “Well the reason I’m calling is because I need a pair of shoes.  But here’s the problem:  I need someone to sit with me and put on every shoe for me because I have tiny tootsies and I just can’t get a shoe on them because of my weight.  I used to be thin, you know.”

Mary:  “Yes, okay, well it’s tax free this weekend so I wouldn’t advise coming in this weekend because we’ll be so busy and you won’t get the attention you need.”

Woman:  “Okay, so I could come in Saturday?”

Mary:  “Sigh.  Yes.”

I think my main issue with this conversation is that if you’re 5’3″ there is almost NO way in hell that 180 would make you look thin OR be just muscle.  I mean, let’s be realistic here.  I know people who are 6 feet tall and look chunky at 180 pounds.  So sorry, don’t buy it.

That story generally leaves me with little to no words so I will just go ahead and end it here.


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